Never Have We Ever
2.6 COTS, TOTS & OUR BIGGEST SAY WHATS?

2.6 COTS, TOTS & OUR BIGGEST SAY WHATS?

March 1, 2021

It's the final episode of series 2, week 22 and day 4222 of lockdown!

Our 20 week scan reveals much more than what we were expecting. Mat the breath work guru takes us through his masterclass in birthing & how to stay calm throughout. 19 weeks before her 'birth-day'/'due time' & the crib has been assembled (back to front, upside down, inside out - but it's up). Never too early to get your cot out.

Your Never Have We Ever stories have been phenomenal over this series & we cannot thank you enough for sharing. We'll be back for our third trimester/series in a few weeks time.

2.5 To home birth or not to home birth?

2.5 To home birth or not to home birth?

February 22, 2021

Hippo-birthing... this episode comes live to you from London zoo. Just kidddddin', we've entered the world of 'Hypnobirthing'. Mat's biggest revelation of the week/year is that hypnotising has absolutely nothing to do with hypnobirths. Our pregnancy preference plan is born & chess has purchased a 'nee-nor'(/siren) to stick on top of the car in case of an emergency.

Mat's enlightening us all with some 18th/19th century slang which will leave you gigglemuggling for the rest of the day & as always we have your most entertaining never have we ever moments.

2.4 Paint Shade or Pregnancy Aid?

2.4 Paint Shade or Pregnancy Aid?

February 15, 2021

Ohhhhhhh we're half way there & we're to celebrate hitting the 20 week mark with an exclusive quiz that has never been done before.  

It's val/gal/palentine's day & we have the best of the worst presents you've received.  Top tip of the week from our "never have we ever" listener is invaluable ... make sure your bluetooth is disconnected from your speaker at your family home before "Firkytoodling" on the phone! 

2.3 What the tush is a push present?

2.3 What the tush is a push present?

February 8, 2021

Mat is discombobulated with the concept of a "push present" whilst Chess is furiously curious with the 'gooch' cream Mat keeps slapping on his crown jewels.  A very royal episode indeed.

 With a ravenous sexual appetite making an appearance at week 19, Mat just can't keep up & this weeks' "Never Have We Ever" moment leaves no womb for the imagination. 

2.2 FIVE FLABBERGASTING inFANT FACTS

2.2 FIVE FLABBERGASTING inFANT FACTS

February 1, 2021

It's week 2,300 of lockdown & Mat's at his chessie-capacity... he explodes & the truth comes out.

Have you ever run out of toilet paper & thought... crumpets?! Well, Mat's mate at university experimented with the entire bread aisle - from seeded wholemeal to pita bread.

The baby facts keep coming & we discover that llamas dressed as lobsters will put more than a smile on your face!  Chess thinks the babies' name is locked in, but Mat has other ideas. We role-play this weeks spectacular "never have we ever" moment & it may just leave you FLABBERGASTED.

2.1 Is it a … mini Mat or mini Chess?

2.1 Is it a … mini Mat or mini Chess?

January 24, 2021

series 2/ season 2/ trimester 2... we are back after a chunky 6 week hiatus

Mat's lack of golf over the past few months meant teeing up our sex reveal with exploding balls, after our visit to the thorpe park of the foetus world. A very very juicy 'Never have we ever' email slides into our inbox & we audition for our own theme tune/intro.

5. TRIM YA BUSH

5. TRIM YA BUSH

January 13, 2021

Scooping sick out the sink with Hugo’s poo bag...this week Mat deserves to be knighted for his services to Mrs King.  Coming to you from a cabin in Wales - Mat runs naked through a field chasing sheep whilst Chessie tries to straddle Mat to no avail.  We learn that popping to the shop for milk will no longer be a necessity as Chessie's boobs are already producing the golden syrup.

4. THE FIRST SCAN

4. THE FIRST SCAN

January 13, 2021

This week on the never have we ever podcast Chessie "gets some" from a large phallic camera making Mat feel terribly inadequate.  We find out from our first scan that there's just one tiny human in the oven.  Everything that goes in Chessie's mouth wants to make a second appearance in the sink, as the "morning" sickness scam continues.  Thank you Dustin Johnson (best golfer in the world) for paying for the baby scan. 

3. THE LINGERING FINGER

3. THE LINGERING FINGER

January 13, 2021

Disclaimer: not suitable for Chessie and Mat's parents (mention of specific sex position that resulted in baby) Mat's not getting any action at the moment so he swapped Chess for a doctor to have a rummage around his bottom.

2. BABY BRAIN

2. BABY BRAIN

January 13, 2021

This week Chess discovers that narcolepsy and necrophilia are two very different things. Mat is highly entertained after discovering how babies are X-rayed.  And "Chessie's Chessticles" get a substantial amount of air time.

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